WARNING: EXPLICIT LANGUAGE/CONTENT
My angst began with the cavalier way sex education appears to be taught in our local classrooms.
Disappointment became a companion to angst at the thought of how little respect Frederick County Public Schools looks to have for our daughters.
This lesson seems to say through its silence, our daughters are objects for the enjoyment of others. More times than not, it’s our daughters feeling pressured to consenting to sex. Where are they taught they can say “no”?
Yes, #1 of the lesson says “Make sure you both consent to whatever you plan to do sexually.” Get that? “…whatever you plan to do….” The stage is set. It doesn’t say “You do not have to have sex.” It actually says “you shouldn’t”. I know the 21st Century education system likes to play fast and loose with words, this is why. “Don’t” is a command; “shouldn’t” is a suggestion. Each has a different impact on the psyche.
They could instruct your child “not to”. Why doesn’t it say “don’t”? Why is the lesson framed with, “make sure you discuss what kind of sex….” Why no framing around “saying no” or “abstinence”?
FCPS no longer teaches “abstinence” it teaches “abstinence plus”. This lesson is part of the plus. A response to my PIA might have shed some light on how heavy they go on the “abstinence” part. For now we have to hope there’s something more in depth elsewhere.
Another concern was the Curriculum Specialist “knew”, “lots” of the students used birth control implants. How does he know? Are the classes so casual that girls are just blurting out they are not only on birth control but what kind? Is there a survey? Did parents’ consent?
Parents, do you really not know, or do you just not care about what is being taught to your children with visual and tactile aids?
Fathers of daughters who attend Frederick County Public Schools, where are you? Are you paying attention to what is happening in your little girl’s classroom? An FCPS teacher is talking to your 13 year old daughter about how to put a condom on a penis and how to use a “dental dam”. You don’t find this disrespectful? Do you know what’s in FCPS policies and lessons that diminish a girl’s self-respect and doesn’t support personal boundaries?
Do you know FCPS is teaching young boys to make sure they put on a condom before they violate your little girl anally? Not to worry, they make sure to teach them to put on a clean condom after anal sex, before he puts his penis in her vagina. These are 13 and 14 year olds. Is this reassuring or comforting?
Do you know what a “dental dam” is? I guessed correctly, but I hadn’t heard the term before. It’s a mouth condom for when a boy puts his penis in your little girl’s mouth and ejaculates, no semen…. well, you get the idea. That’s what they are teaching our children. The good news is, they’re taught she won’t get pregnant that way AND she won’t get a sexually transmitted disease! I’d love to know who created these lessons, but again, FCPS isn’t forthcoming with information.
Thank goodness they are there to teach our little girls it’s normal and OK to be violated in all sorts of ways. There appears to be little instruction or encouragement on why a student should wait to have sex or even say “no”.
Nowhere in this lesson did I see anything about abstinence or the emotional and physical benefits of waiting to have sex. Nowhere. It might be somewhere?
The lesson I saw was on “condom confidence”. Copies of what I was given will be posted on the Facebook version of this column. It goes through the details of how to put on and use a condom. FCPS says it doesn’t teach how to have sex. This lesson and its paraphernalia makes it look like they do.
If this is how they teach about the condom on the penis, how are they teaching about the mouth condom?
Only the documents from the Public Information Act request will tell the full story. Does FCPS teach “abstinence” at all?
In light of recent events we also need to know “who” teaches these lessons? Did the long term substitute at Thomas Johnson High get to walk around the classroom with a wooden penis, demonstrating how to use a condom talking about anal sex?
Edited April 20, 2020 with this link to Part I
Editor’s Note: This article originally published on March 5, 2020.