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An Even More Modest Proposal

September 4, 2006

To The Editor of The Tentacle:

In cleaning out my mailbox recently I can across a crusty piece of paper with only a few words written on it. After the application of the proper chemicals, more writing was revealed. I thought that some of the readers of would appreciate the intent of the piece and the humor attached to it. I enclose it below.

An Even More Modest Proposal
By: Jonathon Swifter

Thankfully the Great Famine is but a distant memory in the Kingdom of Lennie. By the good graces of Mother Nature the subjects of the Kingdom were not compelled to devour the Young Humans to survive. But now the People face an even more dangerous pestilence than mass starvation. It is the dreaded pestilence Inconvenience.

Yes dear reader, the People of the Kingdom have become afflicted with this insidious condition. Symptoms include Travelers forced to sit at length inside their Motorized Conveyances while traveling to and fro in the Kingdom. And, worse yet, the People suffer the imprisonment of their Young Humans in box-like Cubicles placed adjacent to centers of learning. The policies and oppression of the White Suited King and his Yellow Haired Queen have failed to rid the People of this pestilence Inconvenience. Thus, this Even More Modest Proposal.

To rid the Kingdom of this Inconvenience it is hereby Proposed: That each Traveler free the youngest of his or her Young Humans from the dreaded Cubicle, package the Young Human in a Motorized Conveyance and ship the package south to the Kingdom of Orange for disposal.

Thus the Kingdom of Lennie will be rid of many Young Humans and Motorized Conveyances all at once, curing both major symptoms of the affliction Inconvenience. The White Suited King and his Yellow Haired Queen will be relieved of burden and worry and the Kingdom of Lennie will be free of strife. The Yellow Haired Queen can dry her river of tears. The People (or what is left of them) will live happily ever after.

Oh, what a Kingdom this would be!

Blaine R. Young, Monrovia

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