Kuching, Borneo Island, Malaysia – I don’t have much hope for the species of the world which are connected with Chinese medicine. In fact, we could probably wipe off those critically endangered except for ones in well-guarded wildlife preserves and those in zoos.

The forecasts by many pundits of the upcoming debacle for the Democratic Party in the November elections are wrong, very wrong. They are an insult to the American people.

Kuching, Malaysian Borneo – The tourist crowds have thinned markedly this month. The best time to visit Kuching, I think. Euro languages can still be heard but they come from the few backpackers and retirees, who, unfortunately, don’t mix. Hilton and Hostel visitors are on opposite sides of the Borneo experience.

“Congress shall make no law respecting an establishment of religion, or prohibiting the free exercise thereof; or abridging the freedom of speech, or of the press; or the right of the people peaceably to assemble, and to petition the Government for a redress of grievances.”

While following the unfolding of the contentious Frederick Board of County Commissioners debates, issues seem to center around taxes, jobs and development.

Do I have the right to build a pig farm in my back yard in the Fountaindale subdivision in Middletown? Why not? Living here in Borneo, I could hire someone else to raise the pigs, have large trucks to move them to slaughter and others to rake and muck the soil for the next batch.

Matang Wildlife Center, Kuching, Malaysia – Porcupines? Wandering the jungle? I had never heard of such a thing until my occasional visit with my friends at the wildlife center. Two caged animals, quills bristling and snouts to the ground, had been brought to the center by an individual who became aware of Malaysia’s tough laws for keeping threatened species.

Kuching, Sarawak, Malaysia – The World Cup united everyone here in Kuching. Australians, Germans, Dutch, Malaysians, English, Chinese and many others knew every player, the weaknesses and strengths of each country’s team and can replay every game down to the nano-second. A hearty camaraderie replaced any nationalistic animosities.

Kuching, Sarawak, Malaysia – “Good on yer mate” I yelled at the Hashers crossing the roundabout. “Darling, meet me at my condo tonight at eight” was hurled to all the pretty girls and elderly ladies walking or dashing by. “My god, my ex-wife shows up in my Borneo dream!” I shouted at a particularly ugly man dressed in lipstick, a red dress and a hairy chest.

Kuching, Sarawak, Malaysia – One of the implied guarantees of our U. S. Constitution, and whose concept has been upheld by the Supreme Court in numerous rulings, is the presumption of innocence. A government must presume a person has not committed any crime unless the evidence, which usually must be overwhelming, proves, beyond a reasonable doubt, that an individual is guilty. Then, and only then, can the government deprive an individual of life or liberty.

Ya’an Bifeng Xia, China – The introduction of the panda into wild was the topic of my conversation with Dr. Tang Chunxiang, director and professor of the Ya’an Bifeng Xia (Green Mountain Valley) of China Conservation and Research Center for the Giant Panda, about 150 km from Chengdu, China. Dr. Tang was gracious enough to grant me time from of a very busy schedule.

Kuching, Sarawak, Malaysia – It’s Saturday morning following the opening games of the World Cup. They started here at 10 P.M. and ran through the night because of the time difference. Both matches, South Africa vs. Mexico and Uruguay vs. France, played to a draw.

Chengdu, China – My wife Suriani and I smiled excitedly as we alighted from the taxi at the Panda Research center just a few kilometers from the edge of the town limits of Chengdu. Pandas! Those cute cuddly bears were the reason for our trip and we were finally going to see them.

Chengdu, China – I have always been an antique seeker, and to my delight, my wife also enjoys the challenge of finding treasures. We are always aware that fakes are often sold both here and in America and follow the age old adage of “buyer beware,” one of the many sayings of Confucius.

Chengdu, China – Many of our overseas Chinese friends had warned us. The people in China were rude, crude and totally unlikable, they said. They will cheat and rob. Crime is high. Bargaining is a nightmare and they are a dirty people. They were wrong.

Even when he was deep into his Alzheimer’s state, Dad always seemed to know when it was Memorial Day – Decoration Day, as he called it. I guess it might have been the war movies that showed constantly on the television that clued him in, or maybe he just knew.

The doctor had told us Suriani was with child and we sat there in a state of shock and protested it was impossible. A vasectomy earlier, plus a diagnosis that she could not have children, had all but negated the possibility; but the facts could not be denied. The doctor made an appointment with an ob-gyn for 9 A.M. the next morning to make sure all was well.

Kuching, Malaysia – I have never before had to consider abortion in my personal life. I never, ever thought I would have to as I practiced birth control in all my sexual relationships. Even in college.

Matang Orangutan Rehab Center, Malaysia – The following account is true. The plot was not stolen from the American television program “Glee’ or any daytime drama. Written by long-term wildlife biologist volunteer Leo reviewed and approved by the Sarawak (Malaysia) Forestry Department and directed by an amazing staff of Sarawakian wildlife orang experts.

Kuching, Malaysia – While there, we wandered around the semi-live volcano which I remembered was the reason why I wanted to go there in the first place. Later, while strolling the streets, I stopped at a travel agency and asked about the possibility of flying from Bandung to Banda Ache. The agent said since I was already in Indonesia, my visa was good for that city. She booked us on a flight from Jakarta to the town on Lion Air.

Kuching, Malaysia – I did it again. I misread the airplane ticket and we missed the flight from Kuching to Kuala Lumpur. We had a connection to Banda Aceh and there was another flight in a few minutes, but I knew we have to run to make it.

Bandung, Java Island, Indonesia – “A sidewalk!” I cried. “A real sidewalk!” We were usually walking in the road next to roaring motorcycles and trucks, often able to kiss the driver or his partner on a bike with just a lean over and pucker. Getting excited over this red brick pathway may seem ridiculous until one has spent time dodging vehicles in most Indonesian cities.

Banda Aceh, Indonesia – The first wave was about three meters high, more like a tidal surge. Survivors remember it being boiling hot. The second wave climbed 100 meters pushing over five kilometers inland, carrying a 2,600-metric-ton ship on its back. The third was just as high but with cold water, very cold, traveling almost as far the second. It shifted the ship to another location.

Traveling the Little Sambas River, Borneo, Indonesia – We had hoped to view orangutans. We did. But, it wasn’t what we expected.

Royal Palace, Sambas, Indonesia – Startled, Putri, the Sultan’s mother and caretaker, wondered how I knew about the seven cannons of Sambas. I told her my wife, of royal lineage, had heard stories handed down through her family.

Sambas, Borneo Island, Indonesia – Sambas is a magical place where my wife’s family originated. The prospect of finding sultans, rajahs, palace intrigues and family connections sent us on a journey of a butt-numbing, 15-hour bus ride.

Pontianak, Borneo Island, Indonesia – Pontianak translates to vampire or ghost in Indonesian. According to local lore, the Sultan of Sambas was riding a horse through his kingdom and saw a lady with a hole in her back. This was at the time the area was a snake infested lowland swamp, like Washington is today. He then named the area for vampires.

Ngabang, Landank, Indonesia – Panning for diamonds? I had heard of panning for gold but never for diamonds. This I had to try!

Lake Toba, Sumatra Island, Indonesia – The largest volcanic crater lake in the world did not make much of an impression. Comparing it to the huge, crystal clear bodies of water in Canada, I realized, later, (don’t we always realize things later?) there can be no comparison between bodies of water on one side of the world in the very northern hemisphere to one on the opposite just along the equator.

Tangkahan, Sumatra, Indonesia – The road from Bukit Lawang, where we were staying, to this village was moon cratered, flood gullied and suitable only for motorcycles or four wheel drive.

Bukit Lawang, Sumatra Island, Indonesia – Disaster struck Bukit Lawang in 2003. The logging of the rain forest further up stream coupled with days of torrential downpours sent log laden flood waters into the area. Massive cut trees rammed into the lodges causing death and wiping the slate clean except for the Eco Lodge, which was sensibly built on higher ground. The area has never fully recovered.

Bukit Lawang, Sumatra, Indonesia – The river that divides this tropical village can be jumped with a flying leap by a high school track star. Water rushes through the small valley frothing clear and pure. A swinging bridge connects the two sides with a warning that only a few people can cross at the same time.

Bukit Lawang, Sumatra, Indonesia – The orangutan ambled just ahead of us, we were repeatedly told. The guide and tracker, in constant communication by yelling into a hand phones, kept assuring us the ape lingered very near but when we arrived at the spots, mom and son had just left.

Medan, Indonesia (Sumatra Island) – The guide books all said I should avoid this place. They were right. What a dump! The city stretches from the Straits to the mountains in one long unending blur of low rise buildings, smog and horrific traffic.

Kuching, Malaysia – "Dad you really need to snap out of it!" Mary admonished as I had screwed up the departure day for Chengdu, China. I had lost all track of time and was, to put it mildly, blindly in love.

Kuching, Malaysia – A 6 A.M. wake up the day after your wedding? Yup! That's what time Suriani and I had to arise following our engagement and legal formalities in the kampung. My daughters stayed across the street in my condo while we retired to the Hilton for an exhausted sleep after a playful couple of hours.

Kuching, Malaysia – A beautiful woman sleeping next to me! I had to pinch myself to make sure this was real. Yes, this incredible sensitive being was my wife in a slumber reminiscent of an angel minus the wings. Or maybe she had them stored some place in a closet.

Having asked the question and receiving a positive answer, I never dreamed of the intricacies of the marriage ceremonies. I did not believe they would last a month.

Cambridge, England – My mouth dropped open when I visited Charles Darwin’s dorm room at Christ College at Cambridge University. The area was about 25 feet wide and 40 feet long. A huge fire place occupied one side of the end of the room with arms holding implements to boil coffee, tea and cook foods, much like the colonial fireplaces we have seen in pictures. There was no way that room would get cold in the mild English winters.

London – I had the pleasure of visiting many scientists in the Museum of Natural History in this fabled town. My good friends, Jan and George, scientists in their own right who work there, introduced me to these scholars and they patiently explained their research.

It has been a few years since Mom and Dad passed away but I remember the torture I went through to try and figure out what to get them for Christmas. Even now, the thought makes me shudder.

Kuching, Malaysia – He who can stuff the most ballot boxes wins the election. I really can’t understand why the Western world cannot accept this obvious concept of democracy.

Kuching, Malaysia – I decided that I was tired of living, sleeping and traveling alone. I am ready to find a wife and begin a new marriage after five years of bachelorhood. I have met many ladies here in Malaysia and have been courting a 42-year-old Malay girl. (see last weeks column).

Kuching, Malaysia – Being a relatively healthy male, I enjoy the company of women and learning the dating customs has been a challenge. Wandering around in my mid 50’s, yet thinking I am in my 20’s, I have met and carefully enjoyed many platonic associations.

Doha, Qatar – What happens if you are a small country and have billions and billions of dollars located on top of the largest gas field in the world? Building the largest most modern commercial airline on the planet is one goal.

Kuching, Malaysia – “I like my tummy soft and round, not flat and hard like the cold hard ground” I sang to myself. These were remnants of a song I had heard on one of those PBS radio shows featuring local artists from around the country. I don’t remember the tune except it was country, but the words have stuck with me ever since.

Middletown, MD – “It’s a grand old flag, it’s a free flying flag, forever may it wave!” This tune ran through my head as I walked up the hill to the parking lot in Middletown for the annual celebration of Middletown Days. I stopped and watched a fife and bugle ensemble, dressed in 1776 uniforms, playing a patriotic song whose melody I recognized but could not pinpoint. A tear came to my eye.

Kuching, Malaysia – “Where did the restaurant go?” I asked. The open air facility seated about 100 people and lined along the sides, small carts sold a large variety of foods. One peddled fried rice with many manifestations: fried rice with vegetables, pork, beef or seafood or a combo of one or all.

Kuching, Malaysia – Illegal logging and poor forest practices are two separate things” and “if there is one thing I hope could be improved over time it would be the quality of data that everyone could share” are the words of wisdom spouted by one Alberto Goetzl. Mr. Goetzl, a policy bureaucrat wonk from Poolesville, Maryland has been sharing these brilliant insights to the people of Malaysia through a program sponsored by the U.S. State Department.

Krabi, Thailand – This beach resort has the atmosphere of a quiet upscale scene as opposed to the honky tonk of Phuket Island or Ocean City, Maryland. The beaches, hotels and restaurants are filled with sexy Swedes. I can't seem to get away from those blue eyes and blonde hair, nor do I want to. They have taken over South Thailand.

The revolution will come, the question is when. Many believed there would be a problem after the sentencing of Aung San Suu Kyi on July 31 and August 11.

Preface: – The following opinions are from my travels in Burma, talking to dozens of people in quiet whispers, over quick cups of tea or in back alleys. I did not seek these people, they found me. They knew I was an American. I did not advertise it. I just told the truth when asked. I refuse to hide behind the flag of another country. I listened and offered the support of a nod or an arm squeeze. I will not name locations, professions or anything else that could give a hint of identification.

Imagine the generals who run Burma as the head of a spoiled, meat-red octopus with vomit green eyes. Imagine tentacles with huge white suckers strangling any form of democracy as its army. Imagine silk black threads running off the tentacles forming a web, hiding, listening and reporting back, the secret police. All three parts of this hideous hydra need money, lots of money, to stay alive.

Mandalay, Burma (Yangoon) – The joys of visiting a new country and the experiences with local people assemble a wealth of knowledge about a nation. Even though I spoke nary a word of Burmese, I managed to communicate.

I had many preconceptions about Rangoon before arrival. After reading Internet sites, travelers tales and newspaper reports, I expected an impoverished, starving nation devoid of western goods.

[Editor’s Note: Tom McLaughlin recently spent several days in Burma, officially the Union of Myanmar, a nation controlled by its military. Over the next six publication days, Tom will relate his experiences in a style all his own.]

[Editor’s Note: An earthquake struck West Sumatra, Indonesia, on August 16. Our intrepid correspondent, Tom McLaughlin, was on a travel foray there at the time. This is his account of his personal experience.]

Kuching, Indonesia – Lions and tigers, oh my! Save the rainforest! We must have the biodiversity! The jungle absorbs carbon dioxide and releases oxygen. We need it or we will die!

Santubong, Sarawak, Malaysia – Shhhhhh! It’s a secret! Don’t tell anybody! I want to hoard this event for just my friends! I don’t want anymore people to come. As far as I am concerned, there were just enough people here a weekend or two ago.

Kampung Boyan, Sarawak, Malaysia – The sampans ply the Sarawak River between two docks. On one side, where I live, is the city with tall buildings like the Hilton, Grand Margurita (formerly the Holiday Inn), Harbor View Hotel and my 16 story edifice housing my modern condo. These are all at least 10 stories high.

Phuket Island, Thailand – Tourism and retirees are the major sources of income for those living in the Phuket area. A very impoverished region, thousands are underemployed along the coast serving the needs of westerners.

Phuket Island Thailand – Every week I play a game I call “Air Asia” roulette. The local price buster airline offers weekly sales well below any advertised price. When I say “well below,” I mean deep ocean discounts where sometimes one can fly paying only the airport tax.

Kuching, Malaysia – “Sir! Sir!” the voice pealed behind me. I turned around and there was a very pretty young Malay girl trying to hail me. I was on a busy shopping street that had been closed to traffic and reverted into a pedestrian walk way in downtown Kuching.

Kuala Pilah, Malaysia – My friend Dzul urged me to return to Kuala Pilah, a two-hour flight, for a reunion with his class. I had started teaching in 1974, just after his group had left; but some had returned for the next level of education (form six). The best and the brightest, they scored the highest on their exams. These were the former students who remembered me after 35 years.

Aboard a Malaysian Airlines Flight – “How do you spend 22 plus hours on an airplane and still stay sane” is the question I am often asked when I travel back and forth from Malaysia to the States. My reply: “I have never been sane in my life, so why would this make any difference?”

Matang, Sarawak, Malaysia – “Froggy went a courting he did ride, uh hum, froggy went a courting he did ride, sword and pistol by his side, uh hum”

Kuching, Indonesia – “A watch beginning at US$10,000!” I exclaimed. “The time piece,” I was corrected, “is an heirloom to be passed down through the generations.”

Gunung Gading National Park, Borneo Island – I could tell you a lie and say I hacked my way through the jungle to see the largest flower on the planet. I could write that I slept in a hammock fighting off vipers, leeches and hordes of mosquitoes just to witness the flower before it faded into a rumpled mass.

Even when he was deep into his Alzheimer’s state, Dad always seemed to know when it was Memorial Day – Decoration Day, as he called it. I guess it might have been the war movies that showed constantly on the television that clued him in, or maybe he just knew.

Kampung Santubong, Sarawak, Malaysia – Alfred Wallace’s second and most famous Law of Natural Selection “suddenly flashed upon him” (his words) in February, 1858. With the monsoon season beginning to taper off, he suffered from malaria induced fevers.

Kuching, Sarawak, Malaysia – The London scientific community viewed Alfred Wallace as a redneck, or, in their lingo of the day, a collector. These were people who went out to the tropics with a butterfly net or gun and brought back animals that were sold to the public.

Kuching, Sarawak, Malaysia – The monsoon season had settled in and my exploring the nearby rain forest had come to a halt. Blinding 24-four hour rains and muddy, slippery paths drove me indoors searching for activities. It was time to pursue my interest in Alfred Russell Wallace.

Seremban, Malaysia – I returned to the groom’s home after a refreshing sleep. To my surprise, a ceremony was in progress. I thought I had it down about Malay weddings, but this part was not in my file.

Seremban, Malaysia – It’s the day before the celebration. Nazir’s son picked me up at the airport and I feigned I knew him, faking it most of the way. The marble finally dropped into the correct location in the brain and I realized who he was and could participate in the conversation instead of stupidly nodding my head.

Seremban, Malaysia – Three months before the wedding-I had returned to Malaysia after a 35-year absence, a former Peace Corps Volunteer. A couple of phone calls put me in touch with my kampung folks and a joyful reunion ensued.

Kuching, Indonesia – Twenty-five orangutans inhabit the Semenggoh Nature Reserve, about 45 minutes from my condo here. I only got to know three of them.

Bintan Island, Indonesia – To understand Bintan Island one must gain a perspective of Singapore because Bintan is a resort to this small island nation.

Batam Island, Indonesia. – The Queens, a bar, restaurant and prostitute hangout along the waterfront of Water City, Batam Island, services the western male community. All have seen better days.

Batam Island, Indonesia – The islands were calling me and with rhythms of music from South Pacific flowing in my mind, I elected to visit a couple of them about an hour boat ride off the coast of Singapore.

Lombok, Indonesia – We had finished our visit with the stump tailed Macaques and the use of my teaching techniques on the troop. Our next stop, a small enterprise, located only through a side road, winding through a housing estate filled with homes (we would call them shacks) constructed of wood.

Sengigi, Lomock Island, Indonesia – Our trip to Lombok was an example where the Internet, advance planning and advice from fellow trekkers exploded into a rusty hulk. Air Asia from Kuching to Singapore and Bali and then by ferry to Lombok, sounds simple.

Kapit, Sarawak – We disembarked from our long, green low boat with a 60hp out board motor. Climbing up the crumbling concrete steps, (we’re always climbing here) and reaching the top, we noticed six fighting cocks staked to sticks. They were far enough apart so they didn’t seem to notice each other. I guess they were waiting for their next battle.

Kapit, Sarawak – Located atop a bluff on the Rajang River, and just above the first set of rapids and below a major bend in the river, the eco-lodge backs into the beginnings of a tropical rain forest protected area. Dwarfed by high jungle covered hills, it is constructed of deep and darkly stained rain forest timber with an open, airy décor. The dining area, on a veranda, overlooks the river.

Kapit, Sarawak – During our overnight in Sibu, the desk clerk recommended a Chinese restaurant for Foo Chow cooking. We were surprised at the strange, fresh, clean taste of the meal. Absent the oily flavor associated with Chinese food in the states.

Sibu, Sarawak, East Malaysia – Christine and I left Kuching via the Sarawak River in the continuing monsoon for our trip up the Rajang River. Rains have poured from the clouds since early December and would follow us into the interior.

Bali, Indonesia – Four factors influenced my desire to forego watching the inauguration of President Barack Obama with fellow Americans here in Kuta Beach. I did not seek out places that Americans congregate, nor the American Consulate.

Santubong, Borneo – The Israeli incursion into Gaza has been met with indifference here in this Moslem land. The news has been buried in the second sections or on pages 14-15 in The Borneo Post, the local English language daily.

Santubong, Borneo – Getting used to some things here in Borneo takes time. I need to be careful with the traffic, a life threatening situation.

Santubong, Borneo – I watched television and read about the Indonesian troops preparing for possible terrorist attacks. Soldiers repelled down hotels, getting ready for a possible Mumbai incident.

Santubong, Sarawak – The condo is like most in Ocean City. Thirty floors contained two sections. I am on the 13^th. There are no others like them in this area nor can others be built because of the rainforest which is now a national park.

KUCHING, Borneo – Still sleepy and in the early dawn hours, I sat in a Chinese coffee shop in downtown Kuching. The thick black Sumatra liquid, with a finger of white condensed milk on the bottom in the clear cup, had yet to be stirred.

“Warm and tropical with pouring rains after 3 P.M.” describes Borneo in this northeast monsoon season. The city of Kuching combines old and new, with the modern Hilton overshadowing Chinese shop houses built in 1900's.

Black Friday arrives the day after tomorrow and throngs of shoppers will line up for those “deals’ in a panic frenzy. Credit, debit and anything else that still has value will be maxed out during this holiday season because of the economy. Often left in the riot are your parents.

“What has possessed you, Tom,” many have asked. “Leaving the country for Borneo Island for a year,” they wonder. “And what about your health?”

It was as if a massive salt water wave swept over the country and washed away all of the hate and intolerance. I felt cleansed, jubilant and am still high from the November 4 election results. No more African-Americans, or Chinese-Americans, or Native Americans. We are all Americans.

This election, I was proud to be a part of two Democratic congressional campaigns. The First District in Maryland, mostly on the Eastern Shore, was where I lived while in Ocean City. I moved to the Sixth District when I relocated to Middletown.

I am a Democrat and support Jennifer Dougherty and Barack Obama. I would support the Democratic ticket if the devil himself were on it. I am sure there are Republicans who feel the same way.

Once again it is time for my yearly commentary on the Nobel Prize in Economics. Here, I try to make some sense of this award.

In a secret snap poll conducted by the Maryland Democratic Party, Jennifer Dougherty is within six points of overtaking Roscoe Bartlett. This does not include a fair number of people who are undecided, or the 18-24 year old vote.

The election seems to hinge on battleground states and I visited one of them recently. A trip to Colorado Springs, called “The Springs” by locals, proved to be an enlightening experience.

I was really surprised how much Sen. John McCain reminded me of Dad. I watched him in the first debate and his mannerisms, coupled with his speech patterns, had Dad written all over him.

For the past year the nation has been embroiled in a roller coaster ride of the economy brought about by President George W. Bush, Vice President Dick Cheney and their cronies.

Other than he is a Republican, anti choice, pro war, a trickle down economist, drill here, there and everywhere fanatic, and a DNA clone of the mind (or lack thereof) of George Bush, there are few other things about Arizona Senator John McCain that bother me.

I have returned to Frederick County and noticed a movement to get everyone to speak English. I agree whole-heartedly with this endeavor. A law needs to be passed that no language except English can be spoken in public.

Throughout the past few years, there has been a blasting of the Canadian healthcare system. Many conservatives point to the “awful” conditions up north as an example of what can happen if the government gets involved.

They’re back! After watching the March Past during the opening of the games in Peking (old spelling), I settled in to watch some of the sports. And wonders of wonders who did I see? Those two great representatives of American dirty old men, Misty May and Kerri Walsh. They were playing the great American sport – beach volleyball.

Race is – and will continue to be – a very big factor in the presidential election. Sen. Barack Obama has called for change; however, his skin color will be too much of a change for many. White, not John McCain, will win the election.

There are a many similarities between North Ontario, Canada and Western Maryland. One of the most obvious is the bears. Both areas must bow to what the residents consider regulations promulgated by a foreign government.

Sen. Barack Obama sure is having problems with preachers. First it was the Rev. Jeremiah Wright and now the Rev. Jesse Jackson. Both have added a sense of amusement to the campaign.

Everybody wants to write a book, including me. A recent survey revealed that 87% of all Americans want to take pen in hand or fingers to keyboard. There are three reasons experts have cited; and they include a person having a message to share, ego and money.

The main focus of the oil crisis has now shifted to people called speculators and fund managers. As a liberal Democrat, who reads the Wall Street Journal (now there’s an oxymoron), I have endeavored to learn how they fit into the equation.

We purchase billions upon billions of dollars of goods from the Chinese. They, in turn, take those dollars and invest in conservative and safe instruments like American T-Bills. This circular path has caused alarm among some that they have the power to wreck our economy and bring America to its knees. However, to destroy our economy would also mean wrecking theirs.

For the first time, it was announced recently, the life expectancy in the United States reached above 78 years old. Some may rejoice at this news, but one must be very careful because the quantity of life may have increased but the quality of life has decreased. This quality not only affects the individual who has reached the golden age mark, but the many people who care for him or her.

These are some direct quotes about the Great White Shark: “Unlike most fish, white sharks are intelligent, highly inquisitive creatures.”… “No one has seen white sharks mate” (that’s understandable)…. “When I am on the boat, they’ll pop their heads out and look me directly in the eye and once when there were several people in the boat, the Great White looked each person in the eye one by one, checking us out.”

Why are world food prices so high? How is this connected with illegal immigration? Why do we have a $91 billion Farm Bill? How are these related?

I love women and now that the Memorial Day weekend has just passed, they are parading on the beach in as little clothing as possible. And I am sitting in my sand chair watching.

Even when he was deep into his Alzheimer’s state, Dad always seemed to know when it was Memorial Day – Decoration Day, as he called it. I guess it might have been the war movies that showed constantly on the television that clued him in, or maybe he just knew.

In my last column, I said I would contact Black leaders to try to answer my questions about the perceived new relationship between Blacks and Whites. I didn’t. The reason is lack of courage.

I am confused about Black America. What is the message Barack Obama and his supporters are sending?

“Las Vegas was built and runs on tips” was the advice given to the bus load of passengers as we returned from the Grand Canyon in a not so subtle hint. To make sure we got the point, on the “menu” at the National Geographic Center where we were served the most god- awful lunch probably prepared from the remains of animals on failed expeditions, was advice on how much to tip him, which was between $5-$10 depending on the service.

"Good luck to you" is the farewell greeting stated to people when used instead of "bye" or "have a nice day" here at Sam’s Town Casino and R.V. Park.

Viva Las Vegas! Viva Las Vegas! The Elvis Presley tune has not left my brain since I decided to visit that city in the desert.

I have trouble equating human life with money. It’s like combining an apple and an orange to make a new fruit. Shakespeare and algebra simply will not go together in a publishable book.

Where in the world are we going to put the chicken poop? That is the question most people on the Eastern Sore are asking. “Not in my back yard!” said the towns. “Not in my backyard” said the counties. Not on the fields said the wacko environmentalists.

The people in Ocean Pines are so old! That’s what I discovered when I returned to Middletown after a month’s absence. It is so nice to see young people and families. Strong vibrant individuals walking purposefully onward in their lives.

Hanging around a redneck bar gives one a certain window on the economy. I have spoken to painters, dry wallers, contractors, roofers and others. I discovered that the ones who have done quality work in the past and have a good reputation have more business than they can handle.

I have tried many different and unique ways to meet ladies of quality and one of them is to join poetry groups. My logic is that warm, sensitive and intelligent women would be attracted to these gatherings and I would woo them with my rhymes.

I have started to go back to bars. In my drinking days, I loved them, but with all the medication I take now, it puts a damper on that exercise.

The Town of Ocean City has come up with a brilliant idea to lower their taxes by $14 mil or so, and to raise the taxes of the good people of Worcester County by the same amount.