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October 16, 2015

Gardner Takes Aim at Private Industry Endorses Socialist Sanders

Joe Charlebois

A Charles B. Satire Report


Frederick, MD – In a move that has taken Maryland Democrats by surprise, Frederick County Executive Jan Gardner (D) has announced her intention to throw her support in the presidential primaries to the self-proclaimed socialist from Vermont – Senator Bernie Sanders (I).


It was thought that Ms. Gardner would support former Secretary of State Hillary Clinton as the only woman running on the Democrat side.


According to someone close to Ms. Gardner, no one should be all that surprised. After all, Ms. Gardner has much more in common with Senator Sanders than she does former New York Sen. Clinton. Ms. Gardner’s recent power play, that threatened the possible use of eminent domain to force a private healthcare company into surrendering its right to operate an assisted living and nursing home in Frederick County, is nothing short of socialism.


This past Thursday Ms. Gardner proclaimed the week of October 19 – 23, 2015 as Business Appreciation Week in Frederick County. The county executive, along with the Office of Economic Development, will have over 60 “ambassadors” sweeping across the county to visit the 112 businesses that call Frederick home. Their stated purpose is to thank each company for doing business in Frederick and to “identify concerns or potential issues.” Ms. Gardner has decided that she will be the ambassador for Aurora Holdings. Her stated reason is that she wanted to personally thank them for their business – literally.


“I’d like to thank the kind people at Aurora Holdings for coming to their senses and turning over what is rightly mine… er the people of Frederick County’s. I have since put out notice to legal representatives from Sunrise of Frederick and Somerford Assisted Living that the executive’s office is considering using eminent domain to acquire these properties as well.


These two locations are in close proximity to Montevue and adding them to the county’s healthcare portfolio would give us greater negotiating strength to reduce costs and expenses. The economies of scale would prevail and give the tax paying workers of Frederick the savings they have been looking for.”


Ms. Gardner is also looking into ways to make public transportation more efficient and cost effective. Not only does she want to make sure the “buses run on time,” but she is looking to free up Frederick citizens to travel anywhere in Frederick County including the major airports in the Baltimore/Washington area at any time day or night.


According to a leaked internal memo, the county executive’s plan is entitled “Make Frederick County Transportation Friendlier for Business.” According to the memo, Ms. Gardner is reported to have threatened Jerry Wood – co-owner with Blaine Young of Yellow Cab Company in Frederick – that the “de-privatization” of all limousine services and cab companies is imminent. The projected takeover of the livery business is bound to be controversial and at the time of submission for this publication, Mr. Wood was unavailable for comment.


Frederick County’s transportation and assisted care facilities may just the beginning of the Gardner Administration’s efforts as it is yet to be determined if the county executive’s request to bring all county infrastructure and construction jobs in-house will have an effect on or even terminate the current contracts with private contractors.


When asked about the drastic turnaround in philosophy from the Board of County Commissioners led by Board President Blaine Young, Ms. Gardner stated: “The county can no longer afford nor should it be privatized.”


UPDATE: County Executive Gardner, who was originally planning on visiting W.F. Delauter & Sons as part of her ambassador tour, has cancelled that visit as she stated “they don’t have any business in the county anymore.”


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