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July 2, 2015

More Deep Thoughts

Norman M. Covert

(Editor’s Note: The following commentary was originally published August 8, 2012. It has continued relevance, but has been updated by the author.)


Good morning, travelers. I am persuaded that Ernie Kovaks and Charles Dickens should be the lesson of this day as I plant my foot firmly and put on my best grumpy face.

There is this from Mr. Dickens’ “A Tale of Two Cities.” He wrote of London, King George III’s bunker in 1775, when American Patriots started to fight back and ultimately overturned the oppression:

“It was the best of times, it was the worst of times, it was the age of wisdom, it was the age of foolishness, it was the epoch of belief, it was the epoch of incredulity, it was the season of Light, it was the season of Darkness, it was the spring of hope, it was the winter of despair, we had everything before us, we had nothing before us, we were all going direct to Heaven….”

Sound familiar? That’s why I’ve entitled this commentary, “Deep Thoughts.”

Our modern world with its collective sophistication is being managed by principals, who continue to be mostly incompetent. The issues are wearying, often sophomoric, and fit the notion that you truly cannot make up this stuff.

Consider that Comedian Ernie Kovacs had a segment of his 1950s radio and television shows called “Deep Thoughts.” Ernie once told an interviewer that his thoughts were so deep he could see all the way to China. That was before Richard Nixon scored his “détente” opening the window to allow China to take our consumer dollars and lend it back to cover this president’s excesses.

How comedic is it that the world could put on blinders and realize that Israel is not the problem in the Middle East. From its birth by United Nations mandate in 1948, Israel has offered the only employment hope for indigenous Arabs, who launched an invasion a day later. It isn’t the Israelis firing rockets into Palestine on a regular basis. Rumor has it that the Children of Israel are rethinking their association with the Obama White House. How much more diplomatic abuse can the Israeli’s endure?

We once had a “Deep Thought” conversation in the Fort Monroe (Va.) Officers Club Lounge about the problem with the Israelis and Arabs circa 1972.

 “Give them each two nuclear weapons,” we agreed, “and attach a three-day window in which to use them.”

Israel would have prevailed because Arab factions can’t remember whom they hate the most – brothers, cousins or Jews. Problem solved; “Deep Thoughts.”

How confusing it is to Americans that the president and his bumbling secretary of state are about to certify that Iran may build up its nuclear weapons program without interference and we will help pay for it. Remember what Forrest Gump’s Momma said, “Stupid is as stupid does!” Deep Thoughts.

I still admire Mr. Kovacs. His satire was to the point and left no segment of society unsullied. His career would go nowhere these days because of “our” sensitivities and his willingness to poke fun at fellow travelers.

One of his popular characters was “Percy Dovetonsils,” which he pronounced “Perthy Dove tonthils.” Percy loved his martinis, admonishing his man-servant Bruth to remember “just a modicum” of Vermouth. Percy was quite a poet; one ditty featured “gay Caballeros.” Oooh, but that is a no-no for those who would rather kiss than eat Chik’n at Chick-fil-A.

I told you, “Deep Thoughts.”

This every day guy has seen the nation lose much of its excellence, pride, and character, but more than that, its humor. We are the butt of own comedy routines. Our NASA space program has been dismantled with resulting failure upon failure; our Department of Defense is now smaller than it was in 1939.

We no longer believe the wisdom of former USCLA Coach Red Sanders, who said “winning isn’t everything, it's the only thing.” Most of us refuse to be on the losing end as a nation, so we must resolve to kick out the losers who have placed such a fiscal and national defense burden on us. Deep Thoughts.

A couple closing nuggets for you: The Supreme Court’s recent two major decisions (“Obamacare” and same-sex marriage) are enough to cause the Founders of this great nation to turn over in their graves. Neither decision was determined in consultation with the Constitution. And they have no remorse!

I compare the SCOTUS stumbles to the goonerism, “Rindercella,” by the late country comedian Archie Campbell. He recounted, “If you ever go to a bancy fall, don’t forget to slop your dripper!” Deep thoughts.

In the face of the tragic South Carolina church murders, no further words of wisdom can mitigate the liberal hue and cry about removing the Confederate Battle Flag from monuments, exhuming the graves of Confederate generals or tearing down/defacing Confederate battle monuments. Do you see how far we have fallen into an abyss as a nation? Deep Thoughts.

I recall seeing an editorial comment three years ago from a well-known street roamer, who often comes up on the police radar screen. He has calmed his former violent behavior and in this instance he was just being editorial, walking up Baughman's Lane. He smiled at pedestrians and vehicles holding his finger aloft for all to see in a vulgar display.

 “Deep Thoughts,” I told you. You can’t make this stuff up.

 “Bruth, just a modicum.”


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