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As Long as We Remember...

July 12, 2012

Manners and Courage Inseparable

Joan Marie Aquilino

I’ve had my fill of late from people who make promises and can’t keep them, or those who swear your secret is safe and then make a beeline to ‘share’ it. Then there is the topper of all idiots.


It’s that person or persons who are so brave behind a computer screen and trash anything that breaths, but hide their identity from those they are attacking. That type of person is lower than pond scum.


There are male and female versions of this type, but for a large part it’s men that I come across more often than not. Shame on them. They are pathetic excuses for human beings. I’d list them all, but why give them the free press. Deny it all you want; you know exactly who you are, and you’ll have to live with it until you have the courage to change.


What happened to loyalty, true and honest words and – beyond even that – what happened to manners? Simple manners? What happened to considering those around you and their personal space, holding doors for everyone and – especially – just being helpful in the simplest of ways?


Why can’t people speak at a volume that doesn’t drown out everyone else within a mile radius? Helping elders with groceries; checking on them if for no other reason than to say “Hi, I’m thinking about you.”


Only those old like me will remember the Wendy Ward (Montgomery Ward) Charm School. I wish our youth had them available today. A little charm, a whole lot of manners, and a command of the English can take a person anywhere. You don’t have to be brought up on Park Avenue to know how to behave in those situations. There’s a time and place for everything; and, with a good solid core set of manners, you know how to adapt and make everyone around you comfortable.


Take the simple things in life and use them to your advantage.











If you live by these rules on a daily basis then you’ll receive the benefits of it tenfold. Others will know that your word is gold, that your efforts are sincere and that your loyalty is something to be cherished and never taken advantage of.


You won’t need to walk around talking about your ‘me time’ because it’ll just happen. You’ll know when it’s ‘me time,’ and there will be no guilt in taking it either.


Now, just so those who know me well won’t think I’ve completely lost it, I’m going to go political for just a moment before I bid you ado.


I don’t care which side you are on, this is more about the process and how we all filter. Please be an adult about this whole election process and get educated. ‘Trust but verify’ is one of my favorite sayings.


Of course, we all have our confidantes; but, beyond that, do not trust what you read, the rhetoric that inundates us all from the Internet, TV, newspapers and even books. Read them and discuss them; but before you go off half-cocked and repeat what you ‘assume’ to be a truth, check it out and do your own research and fact verification.


What did I read somewhere recently about, ‘there’s nothing worse than that moment in the middle of an argument you realize you’re wrong.’ I’m sure that’s not the exact quote, but it gives you an idea of where I’m going. Know your facts first and be able to back up what you are saying.


We all make mistakes and we all forget. Don’t beat yourself up. Just know how to fix it, stop it or apologize without buts and excuses. If you can’t offer a heartfelt, sincere apology, you really don’t have much substance and you become ugly inside and out.


That will be it for my personal, semi-informed rant this week. Go forth and do the right thing for yourself and others for no other reason than it’s the right thing to do.


Smile ……… it drives people nuts wondering what you are up to. It’s your own private silly moment and it’s contagious.


. . . . .'til next time . . .


As always, I’d love to hear from you; so, let me know what’s on your mind by emailing, or contacting me directly at


“Just Joan” saying, be safe and “don’t believe everything you think.”


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