A Christmas Poem from Annapolis
'Twas the Night of Redistricting
'Twas the night of redistricting, when all through our State
Every legislator was worrying, what would be their fate.
The begging was over and favors accomplished with care,
In hope that perfect districts would be found somewhere.
The Governor was nestled all snug in his bed,
And visions of future office danced in his head.
While Miller in his office and Busch in the House,
Had just had a laugh at this redistricting douse.
Then out on the Internet there arose such a clatter,
I sprang to my laptop to see what was the matter.
Away to the website, I typed like a flash,
Opening multiple windows and hoping for cache.
The Department of Planning's website was horribly slow
It gave pause in my thought, what it would bestow?
When, what to these wondering eyes should appear,
But a colorful map – that looked like a smear!
With new districts drawn so erratic and slick,
I knew in a moment I was going to be sick.
More colors and angles than a Geometry book,
I knew right away the GOP had was rooked!
"Packed districts! New districts! Democrats rule!
Split communities abound! Republicans are such fools!
To the blogs I went! To the Facebook wall!
Why did we testify! It makes no sense! None at all!"
As I scanned the new map I almost did cry,
Such an obstacle to deal with, why oh, why?
So from Garrett to Worcester I began to look,
District by new district – who got the hook?
Far Western Maryland was basically left alone,
Then I gazed at Frederick County and left out a groan.
A new District drawn on Frederick's southern end,
Republicans packed to the north, friend against friend.
My eyes then fell to Carroll, GOP trouble no doubt
Four Republicans drawn together – one will be left out.
Southern Carroll to Northwest Howard, but two member only,
A new Dem district in Howard, so Fredrick's pick-up won't be lonely.
My eyes darted! My heart pounded, I was wary!
I looked further to Baltimore County and it was scary!
My county where I poured much blood, sweat and tears,
Had been torn asunder exceeding my own worse fears.
The North County Republicans divided in three,
Cockeysville, Timonium, Catonsville all split like a tree.
Another packed GOP district stretched end to end,
With a safe single Dem and four GOP pitted friend to friend!
Then what to my wondering eyes did appear,
A new contrived district made under pressure of peers!
A piece in the city and a chunk in the county,
The African-American community would smile at their bounty.
The City is saved, the GRAC did its work
Neither O'Malley, Miller or Busch would look like a jerk.
The Black Caucus would smile and all Dems rejoice
The GOP was again kicked to the curb without a voice!
I sprang from my seat, too depressed to look more,
The Democrat magic will increase votes on the floor.
But as I turned off the computer and shut off the light,
I thought "It's OK, we Republicans will just continue to fight!"