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October 5, 2011

Deadly Acts of Stupidity

Tom McLaughlin

Kuching, Malaysian Borneo – In my many experiences with the orangutan, reading the literature and speaking to the experts, one does not shoo it away. Similarly, when one encounters a grizzly bear in Montana, one does not try to get close enough to ensure a digital image that shows the human and Ursus arctos horribilis are best of friends.


Indeed, the animal’s middle and last names should inform even the most intellectually deprived individual of danger as it translates to “acts horribly.”


There are two schools of thought to returning orangutans to the wild. The first proposal states that they should be placed into the House of Representatives for a period of time. Here, they will acquire skills to survive in the tropical rain forests. They will study hording fruit for themselves, culling of elderly orangutan to save food and marking off, fencing and selling prime river front property that belonged to all the primates.


The grizzly bears of Montana, however, will be a continuing education professor for our legislators. They will be taught the art of bull fighting to make sure the survival of the bear market. They will be instructed that allowing the bear to roam free and eat whomever and whatever without restraint is in the best interests of the nation. The song “Born Free” should be its’ anthem.


However, like miller’s daughter who tried to change straw into gold, these methods will not turn a bear into a bull. Rather, as Montana ranchers will attest, the more freedom it has, the more the bear will rage and range.


There was an article in the Sunday’s The Star, Malaysia’s English language daily, that said an orangutan attacked and broke the right index finger of a tourist guide who attempted to chase it away. This is a very, very minor injury for the stupidity of a human who should have known better than to chase a primate anywhere. One allows the ape to go wherever it wants and one backs away quietly and – in some cases quickly – from whatever direction it decides to go.


In a more serious case, two individuals, who thought they had shot and wounded a black bear in Montana, tracked the hurting animal into thick cover. The animal, who turned out to be a grizzly, as if that made any difference, charged, and one individual shot his friend instead of the bear.*


Although this a terrible tragedy, it was probably two trickle down economists who misread whether it was a black bear or a grizzly, then chased him into obvious danger and then shot his friend.


In any case, all of these humans belong in the circus known as the House of Representatives.


. . . . .life is good…





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