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The Tentacle


January 26, 2010

Itís a Joke, Son

Norman M. Covert

The pollster asked for an assessment of President Barack Hussein Obama’s first year in office. My best response was a guffaw and reference to one of America’s great Post World War II legislators, fiery Southern Senator Beauregard Claghorn, who opined, “It’s a joke, son!”

 

Senator Claghorn, brainchild of radio comedian Fred Allen, became the alter ego of Allen’s announcer Kenny Delmar. The senator was made visual by Looney Tunes’ blustery rooster Foghorn Leghorn.

 

Senator Claghorn exhibited irascible vision as he answered the door of his abode along Allen’s Alley in the weekly half-hour radio show.

 

“How are you, Senator?” Allen inquired, to which Claghorn answered, “I’ve got the Beezie Wheezies!”

 

Claghorn discussed the “new national health plan” in 1947, which didn’t reach fruition either. Claghorn remarked vitamins were the secret to good health and if Vitamins A-G don’t work, you “go to ‘H.’”

 

He headed up the $500K “Clam study to increase production,” in which he had to make sure the Boy Clams and Girl Clams got together. “… You’d be surprised what goes on inside those shells, son.”

 

Excusing the 60-plus year gap, Senator Claghorn’s weekly commentary aimed at then-President Harry Truman and the Washington establishment could easily apply to the Obama-Nancy Pelosi-Harry Reid triumvirate. Our 2010 national predicament would be comical except that it has been muffed so badly by the Democrat leadership.

 

Maybe we will wake up to find the Obama experiment was a nightmare. Lots of folks seem to be waking up these days – so far in Virginia, New Jersey and now Massachusetts!

 

We elected a president who may be the victim of racial quotas, which have been pervasive since the ‘60s. Consider the social environment of the ‘70s when soldiers, both enlisted and commissioned officers, were victims of promotion boards that demanded racial equality – ability and performance set aside. Neither the soldiers nor the Army fared well in this politically correct atmosphere.

 

The “comprehensive” report on the Fort Hood terrorist shooting smacks of the same high jinks by Army leadership. It is significant for its omissions.

 

President Obama leapfrogged from mediocrity as a Harvard student, law professor and community organizer to president. The Divine Mr. O made his mark as an Illinois state senator by voting “Present” 129 times. His record as a U. S. Senator (D., IL) mirrors that kind of “definite maybe” determination.

 

Senator Claghorn’s description of such legislative ennui is a classic: “… They interrupted my Morpheus filibuster!”

 

Fearless Leader was called a “habitual ditherer” last summer by one pundit. It would be difficult to disagree with that moniker considering his four-month indecision on the need for additional troops in Afghanistan. He was applauded by his choir for announcing our simultaneous surrender this summer.

 

Clearly he has frog-marched the United States of America to the brink of destruction from without and within under the guise of convincing the world to “like us.” Our potential and sworn enemies are thumbing their noses at us, mocking the milquetoast foreign policies of this administration.

 

President Obama has further emasculated our intelligence apparatus, which has not recovered from the damage done by President Jimmy Carter. He handcuffed an already suspect Department of Homeland Security into irrelevance. He named Eric Holder U.S. Attorney General. As senior law enforcement officer, Mr. Holder has taken Obama’s infidelity to America to the extreme by coddling terrorists.

 

Our Armed Services and the Joint Chiefs are saved embarrassment by the diligence, bravery and devotion of our military men and women at home and abroad. They may be wondering, like my Vietnam War comrades, whether they are being sold down the river a la Lyndon Baines Johnson and Richard Milhouse Nixon (“I’ve got the Beezie Wheezies!”).

 

Obama’s handlers are tax cheats, phonies, incompetents, socialist radicals, assorted perverts and other ne’er-do-wells. He has printed money wildly, leading us to a 2009 fiscal year-end deficit of $1.4 Trillion, a national debt inching to $12.4 Trillion and national unemployment over 10 percent. The People’s Republic of China is one of our largest debt holders. (“It’s a joke, son!”).

 

He thrilled audiences in Berlin and Cairo with his rhetoric last year, but has been unable to do any more than talk.

 

Obama’s reputation for achievement through words alone hit a snag in Scandinavia. In Copenhagen, Denmark, he was touted to elicit tears from the eyes of the International Olympic Committee; it would select Chicago as host city for the 2016 Summer Olympic Games. The committee yawned and selected Rio de Janiero.

 

He picked up his Nobel Peace Prize (“It’s a joke, son!”) in Oslo, Norway, for his potential to do something. The award was universally panned and became grist for modern day comedians.

 

With the Global Warming (“It’s a joke, son!”) conference floundering, the president and entourage swept back to Oslo, his reputation preceding him. However, he had no Roman servant whispering in his ear, “All glory is fleeting!”

 

The Oslo confab was confounded by “The Gore Factor,” which means when Global Warming crazies call a rally, temperatures plunge and snow, sleet and ice greet them on the Ellipse – and in Oslo.

 

The carbon emissions goals stated in the document of understanding, had its legs knocked out from underneath by the United Nations last week, when it declared the goals strictly optional for any nation (It’s a joke, son!”).

 

What else could have been achieved with all the faux “science” revealed last summer. There was “guesstimated” global temperatures – the faked “hockey stick” graph; the Polar Bear population at new highs; the freezing, not thawing Polar Ice Cap; the United Nations admitting a major embarrassment that the Himalayan Glacier will not have melted in 2035 (“we took that from an interview …” – UN); plus more winter weather for Frederick County ….

 

We are seeing behind the façade of a failed political agenda as we start year two of Obama’s Hope ‘n Change (“It’s a joke, son!”).

 

There apparently is some hope now that the We The People can intervene in this road to ruin. Like Senator Claghorn, I’m suffering, too, from the “Beezie Wheezies,” but there’s no joking now, Suh!

 



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