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Advertise on the Tentacle

June 9, 2005

From The Sublime to The Ridiculous

Tom McLaughlin

One begins to wonder how much more bizarre the race for mayor of The City of Frederick can get. A highly respected alderman goes to a bar at 10 in the morning and bounds out in red, white and blue boxing gloves like a maniacal kangaroo to the tune of Rocky. I guess his intent is to knock out our lady mayor – Jennifer Dougherty.

Then, congressman-wannabe and State’s Attorney Scott Rolle flubs the arrest of the psycho who handed the mayor’s sister a bullet. Obviously a threat, Mr. Rolle’s office had to let the guy loose because proper procedures were not followed.

You can bet your sweet life if a member of Mr. Rolle’s family was handed a bullet, the poor soul would have been buried in the bowels of our county jail – never to surface again.

This is, among many others, a good reason why Mr. Rolle should never, ever be a Congressman. The judge in the case had no choice but to free the guy while an assistant states attorney nary lifted a finger, as The Frederick News Post stated: “No argument against the release was made by the prosecutor while Assistant D.A. Patty McLane was researching the law.”

Excuse me? I thought she went to law school! Where do they find these people? One wonders if the orders didn’t come down from the top. No, that’s impossible. They are not that smart. Then, The Frederick News Post runs the same unflattering picture of the mayor three times in a week, while her opposition is shown with smiling benevolent faces. In the same week a story about the Board of Aldermen nixing the mayor’s budget, eight paragraphs were devoted to her opposition’s position, while only one mentioned even a reply.

That salad vegetable of a political reporter drenched in Republican oil and vinegar continues the anti-Dougherty slant as dictated by Ted Gregory and Myron Randall through their minion Dave Elliott.

Meanwhile, turncoat columnist Joe Volz has embraced the philosophy of the newspaper – like The Titanic heading for the iceberg – proceeding to the auction block. The press run figures dipped to a new low this past Sunday. They are now 10,000 below the October 2002 figure. Another twist is the change in the residency law. Now, anyone from anywhere can run for mayor in Frederick City. I am not even sure they still have to be a resident of the United States, let alone Maryland. The Republicans would love to elect Darth Vadar and I would not be surprised if one or both of the Bush twins were placed on the ballot given the reverence for the Bush holy family by the right wing conservative element in Frederick.

Most of the opposition seems to be testosterone-laden alpha males, who genuflect before the White House and spew rabid foam at the mayor’s every utterance. These individuals cannot find anything wrong with her leadership except she is a successful businesswoman who had accomplished much for the city. They would rather have the crime rate doubled so they could bring in missiles and deputized a posse to run through the area instead of acknowledging she has lowered to crime rate by over 20%. Her detractors think it would be best for the city to lose jobs and are sorely jealous to watch buildings rise which will provide employment and a broader tax base from previously malaria-stagnant drainage ditch known as Carroll Creek Bulldozers plow through slum crime areas and new housings rises like a phoenix from the ashes where once stood drug infested hovels. The opposition sputters and chokes wishing the return of 1960’s riots to blame her for instead of the remarkable progress she has made in an area ignored by ego inflamed males looking to keep everything the same.

Some would rather give away the water rights instead of standing firm for a well-watered city. They are certainly all wet in judging the mayor’s efforts on behalf of the city. They are drowning in the pollution of the Potomac pipeline, soon to be giving water to the businesses that sorely need it. And they cry in disbelief as fire, water, sewer, garbage, snow removal and many other city services have run like a smooth cog in a wheel. Like a pig rooting, they have turned over every stone searching desperately for vice and corruption only to cry out she does not play their game fair. Well “gentlemen,” I prefer the Mayor Jennifer Dougherty and her accomplishments to the yowling of the opposition barking in the wind and proposing do nothing candidates who have had their chance and blew it.

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